给家人：三篇

《老婆大人最伟大》 （轻快，调皮的调性 muuuuuuusic 起！） 嘿哟 My lady 感谢的话 我不多说 （此处引滑板鞋，我很喜欢他，没有那么简单，他很有勇气，谁也不许笑话他） 小车子 我要开起来 咚 咚 咚 咚 咚 咚 咚 咚 你猜猜 我现在 开到哪儿 时速180呀 开到那天涯 天涯天涯天涯 天涯是个啥 是个啥？ (停顿 头往右歪 右手指出) 不就是 看那 花花 又 花花 不就是 看那 美啊 美啊 美啊美啊美啊 美啊 啊啊 小曲儿 小口哨 走起来啊 走 走 走两步 走 走 该拐啦！ Stop Sign! 别被罚了 今年罚款预算用完啦！（老婆喊） 老公啊 你可长点儿心吧！ 哎 哎哎 老婆·大人·最·伟大（这里断句，一字字顿着读） 后排您坐好我再出发 您想要稳定我给你稳定 您想要high 趴 我给你 high 趴 还不信 哎 那你说我该说啥 看来只能 哈哈哈哈哈 又哈哈

The Greatest Wifey (Light, playful tone... Muuuuuuusic, hit it!) Hey yo, my lady! I won't say too many words of thanks (A tribute here to "My Skateboard Shoes". I really like him, it's not that simple, he has courage, and nobody is allowed to laugh at him.) Gonna start up my little car, Dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun! Guess where I'm driving to right now? 180 an hour, driving all the way to the edge of the world! The edge, the edge, the edge... what even is the edge? What is it? (Pause. Head tilts right, right hand points out) Isn't it just looking at flowers, and more flowers? Isn't it just looking at all the pretty, pretty things? So pretty, pretty, pretty, pretty, ah, ah! Little tune, little whistle, let's get it going! Go, go, take two steps, Go, go, time to turn! Stop Sign! Don't get a ticket, our fine budget for the year is all used up! (Wife shouts) Hubby, have some sense, will you?! Aye, aye, aye. THE. WIFE. IS. THE. GREAT-EST. (Pause here, read word by word with emphasis) You sit tight in the back, and I'll hit the road again. You want a steady ride, I'll give you a steady ride. You want a wild party, I'll give you a wild party. Still don't believe me? Sigh, then what do you want me to say? Guess I can only... Hahahahaha, and haha again!

《妈妈》 世间若有通灵玉 非你莫属我的妈 古文今文或戏文 皆为灵气蕴精华 苦作甜来睿如木 化腐为奇本领大 修仙炼道似远晦 归来原在酱醋茶

Mother If there is a sentient jade in this world it belongs to none other than you my mom Ancient texts modern writings or opera scripts all gather their essence from your spirit Turning bitter into sweet as wise as wood transforming the mundane into the magical you have great skills Cultivating immortality and following the Dao seems distant and obscure returning you are right here in the soy sauce and tea

《为啥没写我爸》 爸爸爸 妈妈妈 爸妈爸妈爸爸妈 你俩注定是斗斗杀 你俩注定是难分啥 蒸我烤我又托我 如今才懂大造化 嘿嘿嘿 谢谢你们俩 多好咱们仨

Why Didn't I Write About My Dad Dad dad dad Mom mom mom Dad mom dad mom dad dad mom You two are destined to fight and clash You two are destined to be tangled up Steaming me roasting me and lifting me up Only now do I understand the great creation Hehehe thank you both how wonderful the three of us are