哈利·隐形衣

《嘿，哈利，你的隐形衣，能借我用用么？》 九月伦敦的午后，雨后略显湿漉漉的。 我穿着邦德同款西装，麂皮深棕色皮鞋上的鞋油还未被雨水完全浸透，魔法部第138号的路牌已赫然映入眼帘。 我到了。 咚，咚。 “请进。” 听到那个熟悉声音的片刻，我还是有些不敢相信。我竟然将要推开门去见的，是我已经单方面相识、却从未谋面二十年之久的波特先生。 “嘿，波特先生，近来可好？ 我叫探花，来自世界的另一端。 你知道的，我本来想在你的办公室门上用个‘阿拉霍洞开’，但是……我怕你的门承受不住我的法力。 ” 哈利嘴角露出一丝微笑，不经意地扶了扶眼镜，捋了捋头发： “你小子，好多年没有见过你这么狂的了。呵呵，我喜欢。来，坐。” 我心生欢喜，坦然坐下。 （我心说：要不是看在你是波特先生的面子上，我直接幻影移形就进来了，还需要如此客套费劲？ 还用特意换上我的王牌特工套装？ 大裤衩我就杀过来了，哈哈哈！ 但我面上还是保持着“胸有惊雷而面如平湖”的从容，毕竟咱也是坐怀不乱过的人。 ） 波特先生见我坐下，自己倒慢慢起身，转向窗外。 （我心说：伦敦的雨天真够呛，雾蒙蒙、阴冷冷的。 但这调调正好符合我的口味，只是苦了我的爱玲姐姐，要是在这儿，怕是天天都要秋雨潺潺地伤春悲秋了。 ） 波特先生若有所思，许久才说道：“探花啊，你来我这儿，有何贵干啊？” 我直捣黄龙，道：“想借您的隐形衣一用，不知可否？” 波特显然有些吃惊。毕竟那件隐形衣，他自己也有多年未碰了，真要找，放在哪里估计还得去问问金妮大人呢。 波特回过头：“隐形衣？ 那玩意儿于你何干？ 你小子口气倒不小啊，上来就问我要我的心肝宝贝儿。 你可知道，这是我父亲传给我个人的，只有我们波特家族的后人，才有可能拿到。 这你当然知道，不是么？ ” 我扮了个鬼脸，道：“那当然了，波特兄。你的小子早就和我通过气了，你家那宝贝在哪，我可能比你还清楚呐！” 【作出一副得意的神情，翘起二郎腿，靠着椅背悠悠地伸了个懒腰】 波特更惊奇了：“什么？你这谍报工作都渗透到我家了啊！我怎么不知道？看来我得回家好好补补情报班的课了。” （我心说：那当然，咱这可是余则成、吴站长、李涯前辈带出来的，又在《伪装者》里过过招，在《琅琊榜》里淬炼过的！ 和你玩这套，还不是轻轻松松的？ ） 但咱不能那么说不是么。我只能故作客气、又带点无所谓的傲娇神情，回道： “嗨，你不知道，您家夫人还有小子，都是我的粉丝。有天给我写信，专门邀约我来呢。” 波特兄显然更意外了，只好故作镇定：“好了，你别绕弯子了。直说吧，借隐形衣干什么？” （我心说：看来这事儿有门儿！） 【表情放严肃】正色道：“说实话，我想借隐形衣……是想去图书馆，学习。” 波特闻言简直要惊掉下巴，直呼：“你在开玩笑吗？ 你是赫敏的学生吗？ ！ 我不当大哥好多年，我不爱图书馆那冰冷的床沿，你竟然跟我说……你要去看书？ ” （我心中笑哈哈，面上却早有准备） 不动声色地答道：“是啊，哈利。看书，学习，思考，然后再写点东西啊。” 波特一脸茫然，说：“那你图啥啊？我还以为你借隐形衣，是要去搞什么见不得人的事情，结果你这……” 我答：“学海无涯啊，老兄。我喜欢，我开心，但我不想有任何人打扰。你看，隐形衣不正好使么？” （未完，待续）

《Hey Harry, may I borrow your invisibility cloak, please? 》 A September afternoon in London, slightly damp after the rain. Wearing a James Bond-style suit, the shoe polish on my dark brown suede shoes not yet fully soaked by the rain, the street sign for Ministry of Magic No. 138 suddenly caught my eye. I have arrived. Knock knock. "Come in." Hearing that familiar voice, for a moment, I still couldn't believe it. The person I was about to open the door to see was someone I had known unilaterally for twenty years, yet never met—Mr. Potter. "Hey, Mr. Potter, how’s it going lately? My name is Tanhua or Seeking Joy, from the other side of the world. You know, I thought about using Alohomora on your office door, but... I’m afraid your door is too weak for my power." Harry revealed a faint smile at the corner of his mouth, casually adjusted his glasses, and ran his fingers through his hair: "You kid, I haven't seen anyone this cocky in years. Heh, I like it. Come, take a seat." I was overjoyed and sat down calmly. (I thought to myself: If it weren't for the fact that you are Mr. Potter, I would have just Apparated right in. Why bother with all these formalities? And why would I even need to change into my Kingsman suit? I would have just barged in wearing my boardshorts, hahaha! But on the surface, I maintained my composure—thunder in my chest, but a face as calm as a flat lake. After all, I am a man of unshakeable discipline.) Seeing me sit down, Mr. Potter slowly stood up and turned toward the window. (I thought to myself: London's rainy days are truly a lot to handle—foggy and chilling. But this vibe perfectly suits my taste. The only pity is for my dear sister Eileen Chang; if she were here, she'd probably be lamenting the autumn rain every single day.) Mr. Potter seemed lost in thought. After a long while, he finally said, "So, Tanhua, what brings you to my office?" I cut straight to the chase: "I'd like to borrow your invisibility cloak. Is that possible?" Potter was clearly taken aback. After all, he hadn't touched that cloak in years himself. If he really needed to find it, he’d probably have to ask Lady Ginny. Potter turned back: "The invisibility cloak? What business do you have with that? You've got some nerve, asking for my most precious treasure right off the bat. You do know this was passed down to me personally by my father, and only descendants of the Potter family could possibly lay hands on it. You know that, right?" I made a funny face and replied, "Of course I do, brother Potter. Your boy already gave me the heads-up. I probably know where your treasure is better than you do!" 【Putting on a smug expression, I crossed my legs, leaned back comfortably against the chair, and stretched leisurely.】 Potter was even more astonished: "What? Your espionage work has infiltrated my own home?! How did I not know this? Looks like I need to go home and brush up on my intelligence classes." (I thought to myself: But of course! I was trained by the top spies of Chinese intelligence dramas! I've sparred in "The Disguiser" and forged myself in "Nirvana in Fire"! Playing this game with you is a piece of cake!) But I couldn't say that out loud, could I? I could only feign a polite, slightly nonchalant yet arrogant expression, replying: "Hey, you didn't know? Your wife and your boy are both fans of mine. They even wrote me a letter the other day, specifically inviting me over." Brother Potter was clearly even more surprised, but he forced himself to stay calm: "Alright, stop beating around the bush. Give it to me straight. What do you want to borrow the invisibility cloak for?" (I thought to myself: Looks like we're getting somewhere!) 【Putting on a serious face】, I said solemnly: "To be honest, I want to borrow the invisibility cloak... because I want to go to the library to study." Hearing this, Potter's jaw nearly dropped. He blurted out, "Are you kidding me?! Are you a student of Hermione?! I left the gangster life behind years ago, and I certainly don't miss the cold, hard edges of a library desk. And you're telling me... you want to go read books?!" (I was laughing my head off internally, but I came prepared.) Remaining completely deadpan, I replied, "Yes, Harry. Reading, studying, thinking, and then maybe writing a little something." Potter looked utterly bewildered. "Then what's the point? I thought you were borrowing the invisibility cloak to do something shady, and it turns out you..." I answered, "The sea of learning is boundless, my friend. I like it, it makes me happy, but I just don't want anyone to bother me. See? The invisibility cloak is perfect for the job." (To be continued)